The disastrous effects of Match.com
"The Disastrous Effects of Match.com and What Women Can Do About It" is an essay that appeared last week in the Washington Post sending shockwaves through the internet dating industry.
It's about time that someone in the mainstream media had the guts to admit what dozens of bloggers have been observing for years now -- online dating has drastically changed the ways we relate offline by giving everyone a false sense of unlimited opportunities. (Or why "Online Dating Sucks" returns more than 2,000 hits in Google including a multitude of blogs devoted to the subject.)
While the anonymous writer of this essay is pretty much in alignment with what I've been bitching and moaning about for months now, I do have to say she unfairly excluded the male side of this story. (Men complain that women are all out to find a venture capitalist, millionaire or a guy who looks like Brad Pitt.) Here's an excerpt from the essay:
Jennifer Aniston. Christie Brinkley. Sheryl Crow. Teri Hatcher. Either dumped or cheated on in a most humiliating and public way.
Every woman in the dating world has thought, "If it can happen to her, it can happen to me." While he's snoring away, we think quietly at night about what we can do to make sure it doesn't happen to us.
We respond by trying to make our stomachs flatter, our boobs bigger, our faces prettier, and our clothes tighter and more revealing. We do everything possible to please our man. You prefer French cooking? Mais oui, mon cher! You want my hair long? No problem, I'll get a hair extension. Spending part of your vacation with buddies? Go have a good time. You don't want to be with my family on Christmas? I'll see you on New Year's Eve. Is that OK or would you prefer some other time? Do you like my mani-pedi'd, spray on tanned, liposuctioned, Pilates body? Can't commit? Oh, that's right. You're just not that into me. Or her. Or her. Or her.
What the hell has happened? Three words. Match dot com. Match.com and other online dating services have given men access to thousands and thousands of women in every city who look just as great in jeans and a little black dress (the requirement in every man's profile), a smorgasbord of women each one more delicious to devour than the next...
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7 comments:
Thanks for this article - and your blog! I'm a 31 year old, attractive woman who gets compliments in real life, but none online. I posted a fake profile to see if I'd get more hits (making myself taller, slimmer, younger, and with no written information whatsoever) and suprise-surprise, I was inundated with emails from men in my 'real' age group and older. I found it hilarious that guys were basically projecting all their fantasies onto a girl in a magazine (the fake photo I posted) but left sickened. I'm never going to do online dating again, I'd rather take the chance that I'll remain single than post my photo on what is nothing more than a site that is nothing more than a wank-fest at best, and an online brothel at worst. I had to leave the site as it was really destroying my faith in men.
Anonymous: I think it's brutal for everyone. :( And I'm sure those hot 18-year-olds aren't looking for guys in your age group.
Even when I was "hot" and 18 I had a horrible dating life. I was dating college guys!
We do let ourselves open for serious heartache when we venture into the online dating world. But nothing ventured, nothing gained.
This has revolutionised the way we interact with each other and I do not think it is going to change anytime soon.
It alway wise to take our time when meet up with some one for the first time, and who cares if things doesn't work out. Some peole can't be honest with themselves, and for me personally I do not want leftovers either. I do try to deal with all situation by learning how to handle it.
All the best.
http://tinyurl.com/5wkhxm
Online dating is a joke. Out of a morbid curiosity I went on LavaLife and the same men who were on there in 1998 are still there.
Pathetic.
I'm like the blogger (and BTW you're a very fit attractive women, nothing wrong with your looks at all), I tried the online dating thing to no avail.
Men are always looking for the BBD. I don't know if all the attention whores, drama queens or gold diggers have made it harder for the good ladies, but really who cares?
I swore off online dating over a year ago and couldn't be happier.
It's a big fat waste of time.
There were a few men I met that I was mortified when I met them in person. One man's profile picture had to have been his college or fraternity pic as he'd suddenly aged 20 years from that picture.
Like you said Brain Dancing, a lot of these men online in their 40's, think they deserve a hottie in their 20's. When I was in my teens and in my 20's, 40 y/o men were OLD!
OLD is a joke. Your blog is great. I'm glad I found it.
I met so many losers online. It was starting to depress me and cause me to lose my faith in men. There are plenty of good men out there, but if they're online they're not all that or they wouldn't be advertising.
MOST women want committment, marriage or a steady relationship, most men don't. So if a man really wanted that he wouldn't need to go online, he'd be off the shelf quickly.
I found most men online are:
Married
In a relationship with another woman
Mentally ill
Living with mom or roommates
Whole host of financial problems
Complained about the fat chicks even though they appeared to be in their 3rd trimester
Some had bigger boobs than me
Or just generall F'd up men.
I'll meet men in real life.
Ladies, there are 6 billion people on this planet, the good ones are not online!
hello,
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That's awesome. I'm so glad you started blogging and that I can call you my friend. Keep posting and I'll keep reading.
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