(His) relationship commitments
Six months into it is the time when couples start examining a relationship and trying to decide if it's time to move forward into a deeper commitment -- or give it up.
I was on the edge of giving up this week, when my partner sent me his list of Relationship Commitments. I was touched, but I have to admit, he failed to live up to a lot of the commitments on this list, which he wrote a year ago. Revisiting them, we realized that the biggest mistake we made was not voicing and clarifying our needs and expectations. Our expectations were based on assumptions -- not clear agreements.
After a blizzard of emails and two weeks of tense, hurt conversations, retreat and withdrawal, he coaxed me back inside with this list.
For many of us, plunging deeper into intimacy and risking the loss of someone you love is a terrifying thought, and it can be easier to not take that risk and simply run away and never go there.
If I live in the moment and stay present, have faith that there are no mistakes in life, that everything is a process and nothing lasts forever, maybe I can go there.
My Relationship Commitments
Take care of all my relationships, don’t begin or continue ones where that isn't possible. (Figure out if it’s possible as soon as I can.)
Communicate fully and honestly.
Don't allow the old pattern of making sexual relationships into love relationships automatically, including by telling people that it's my pattern up front.
Clarify expectations to death and in detail.
Make all agreements as explicit as possible.
Face the difficulties and reactions in the moment rather than putting them off and hoping for a positive outcome later.
Be aware that timeliness and my manner of communicating sensitive stuff is also really important.
Try try try to look at things from the other person's point of view BEFORE taking action.
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Cheating Women. Why Do They Do It?
Why do some women cheat? Can you stop cheating women? More women are choosing to cheat on their partners than ever before. This article will list the main reasons why some women cheat.
1. Revenge. Although you didn't sleep with someone else, you may as well have. You have broken her trust in some other way. Cheating women often sleep with someone else to pay you back for that dodgy investment or the lie she caught you out on. Apologize profusely and hopefully she will forgive you instead of joining the cheating women society.
2. Feeling unappreciated. Do you treat your wife or girlfriend like an unpaid nanny? Do you ever thank her for all those boring chores she does in and out of the house? What is she doing while you are playing golf? Housework? Minding the children? Seeing someone else? Cheating women often do so because they feel totally neglected at home. Show her you do appreciate her. Say thank you. Notice what has been done. Give her some help. Cheating women are looking for some appreciation and thanks.
3. The honeymoon is over. Another motivator for cheating women is that they are not getting enough sex at home. Once that sexual glow has gone and the sex becomes less frequent, cheating women look for it elsewhere. Try and put some time aside for sex. Go to bed early instead o f falling asleep in front of the TV could be all you need to do.
4. Boring sex. Cheating women often say that it is the excitement of the affair that is the big attraction. Sex at home has become boring and routine. Try and put a spark back into your sex life so that your partner need not leave home to find sexual adventure. Cheating women love the thrill of the illicit affair.
5. Low self esteem. Having someone pay attention to you can really boost your ego. Cheating women are often looking for the flattery they are not getting at home. Pay your partner some attention, flatter her, and prevent her from becoming a cheating woman.
6. No intimacy. All women need to feel close to their loved ones. Cheating women have given up on getting it from their partners and are looking elsewhere. Hugs, kisses, massages, all will make her feel closer to you.
7. No emotional input. Women need you to talk about your emotions. You may think it is worse than going to the dentist. Cheating women are looking for the emotional feed back they are not getting at home. Cheating women can be prevented just by expressing your emotions.
8. You cheated first. Cheating women are often paying back their husband for his sexual infidelity. Sexual revenge is a huge motivator for cheating women. This kind of tit for tat is only going to hurt you both.
9. Sayonara. Some cheating women have already mentally left the relationship and are looking for the replacement. Emotionally, this cheating woman has already left you. She probably isn't planning on staying.
With some attention and flattery your partner need not join the lengthening list of cheating women.
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